oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
