i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
