hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
