you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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