Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
