Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
