my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
