Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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