i just google imaged poop.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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