Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
