In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
only you would photoshop your dick
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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