I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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