Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
