You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
