there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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