Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I lost the right to judge tonight
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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