Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
