capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize