he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I party with great urgency now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
