Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
