New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
