I hope mine doesn't look like that
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
