I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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