I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
