Christians are straight up FREAKS
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize