Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
