So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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