Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
