We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
How's work?
Spinning.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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