But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
