i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
