a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
