did you get engaged???
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
