if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
