hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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