How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
