I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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