He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
