To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
