Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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