We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
