I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
