just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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