Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There's always time for handjobs
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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