at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
