Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
