He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
