weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
