i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
