Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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