So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
