Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
