Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
