i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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