this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
