My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
