Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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