i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
