Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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