My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize