Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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