My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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