Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize