Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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