you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
be right there i have to get my cape
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Congratulations! We have a period
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
