like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize