I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
