hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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