Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
