Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
