i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
