You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
