you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
