so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
