If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
