I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i believe in u and ur pee
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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