worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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