finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
ttyl tear gas
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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