it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize