He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
