i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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